Homecoming
by Cat McDougall
Summary: A wife is told of her husband's death fighting the Karsites. OneShot


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Disclaimer: All things relating to Valdemar are the property of M. Lackey. I'm merely playing amongst them.

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A/N: This is what happens when Cat McD feels the need to angst.

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Homecoming

I'm sorry. He got caught. The Karsites…

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I had watched them walk into the cool morning air. My husband and love. One of the high-spirited Guards headed for the Karsite border. I waved, until he was so far out of sight, that not even the dust from their boots hung in the air.

… managed to get behind our lines. A demon was summoned…

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I patted the bulge under my tunic. Our son still slept. I needed to get moving. There were a few little clothes still to be finished, and a vegetable patch to be weeded. I shaded my eyes, glancing at the sun. It looked like it was going to be another sweltering day. Time to work, while the cool air held.

Well, I'll spare you the details. He was in the front line…

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Letters were sporadic. But that was alright. Every letter let me know that he was still alive. And that was all that mattered. I worried about when our child would come. The Healers had all gone with the Guard. But I was young, and healthy. I would be fine.

… or what they had _made_ the front line. They were taken…

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I never knew labour hurt so badly! I held back the scream, trying to get through another contraction. I needed to get through this. I had to write my Gerin about our son or daughter. His last letter had been so hopeful. I had to write him. But Lady I hurt!

…completely by surprise. Without aid…

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My perfect son. **Our** perfect son. Barely a week old now. I'd sent the letter the very night he'd been born. Gerin needed to know about our son. I smiled as I cradled him as he nursed. IT was a sight I wished I could show Gerin. Perhaps, hopefully, he would be home before too long. Even on leave. It would be enough.

…of any kind. Even the Healers had been sent…

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I glanced down at my sleeping son. He was now rolling over on his own, and trying to crawl. I couldn't believe it had been so long since Gerin had left. It just didn't seem possible. Still, the proof was before my eyes. Rocking slowly in my chair, I looked out at the twilight. I closed my eyes, praying for Gerin's swift return.

…to the front line. No Herald was close…

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The first steps a baby makes are precious. Gerin wasn't around to see it. I was **angry** about that. He should've been! He should've been here! I should've been able to hold his hand while in labour. I should've been able to show him Diril's first smile. His first tooth. That first step. I'd barely even heard anything the past few months.

…because we hadn't expected them to slip so far past us. They couldn't…

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Words. Actual true words came from Diril. He'd even begun speaking in sentences. My baby wasn't such a baby anymore. I'd wanted to keep a diary, but the money just didn't provide for such an extravagant luxury. So, I'd kept it mentally, trying to remember everything for when Gerin came home.

…call for help at all. The entire Company…

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I'd planted my vegetable patch for the third time. Diril had helped. As much as little boys ever truly helped. Still it was nice to be out in the sunshine again. The letters had become more nad more sporadic. I didn't like that, but knew he was still alive.

… somehow managed to hold the Karsites back…

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Messengers were getting rare as more and more Guards were called to the front. Heralds were becoming an unusual sight. They were all heading toward the Border. Were the Karsites winning? Was it possible that soon demons would come into Valdemar proper?

…until a messenger could be dispatched. I'm told…

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I sighed, settling Diril with his small toys, while I stirred dinner over the fire. Snow was on the ground again. A Bard had just been through a week before. The song he'd sung had frightened me. The Herald-Mage Vanyel sounded like half a god. At least he was on our side.

… that Gerin took command after the lieutenant was killed. He led…

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Letters. Something so simple, yet so precious. I had gotten my first in almost half a year. He was still alive. I just hoped he was receiving those that I'd sent to him. I hoped he'd read all about Diril. About the garden. About how I still missed him… about how I still loved him.

…the rest of the troops. His assuming the command…

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Another letter. It felt good. I could almost hear his voice. The sound of it was fading from my memory. I missed him. I **ached** for him. Sighing, I kept planting my vegetable patch.

…saved countless lives. He is…

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My son was no longer a baby. He was now a little boy. A rather precocious one that seemed to be able to find more mischief than was humanly possible. He often asked me about his father. There was so much I couldn't answer. My memory was failing. I missed Gerin so much….

… a hero to Valdemar. We will be awarding him an award. Unfortunately…

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A messenger came today, delivering letters to the outpost. I walked over there, hoping, along with all the others, that there was **something** for me. I needed to see his writing again.

… it will be only to you. Your husband…

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Nothing! Nothing at all! How **couldn't** he write me! I miss him so much… I wiped the tears away. Getting angry wouldn't help. And Diril wouldn't understand. Walking back to our house, I fought back the tears. It wouldn't do for him to see me cry.

… has died. He saved a great many lives. I'm…

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The Commander called me over to him. I wondered what he wanted. For the most part, he didn't mingle with us wives. Gathering up Diril, I followed him into the office….

…terribly sorry. Your husband is dead.

Fin-


End file.
